TanTan & WeChat Dating Review – Online Dating and Relationships in China

Are you planning to date a Chinese girl? I wouldn’t be surprised if your answer is YES! The women here are feminine, sweet, nurturing, loyal, and what not! But that’s not the complete picture – in this post (TanTan & WeChat Dating Review) you’d learn about the hidden drama in Chinese dating and relationship market. I deeply admire Asian girls and am damn sure that it’s a dream of millions out there to date Chinese girls. However, a big issue is – how are you going to meet and court them? Do you understand what Asian women expect from a foreigner dude?

I mean China is a massive landmass with nearly 5000 years of cultural heritage. Most importantly, language differences could be a huge communication barrier between the two of you. One of the solutions, of course, is to try online dating in China.

A very popular Chinese dating App is TanTan (Chinese Tinder version). I live in Suzhou and have heavily used TanTan to meet the gorgeous ladies (I had ~600 likes within a couple of months). It has been a great learning experience so far (a good mix of successes and failures).

Related post – TanTan (Chinese Tinder) Scams.

Update (August 2019) – I’ve just covered comprehensive reviews of the Chinese dating market (WeChat, TanTan, mindsets) in my books available on Amazon, feel free to stop by:

• Online Dating in China
  • Paperback (ISBN 9798887341316): Amazon
  • Paperback (ISBN 9798887341316): Barnes & Noble

• Dating Chinese Women (Paperback Edition).
  • Paperback (ISBN 9798887341323): Amazon
  • Paperback (ISBN 9798887341323): Barnes & Noble

I love sharing personal observations and experiences, including those about dating and relationships, that could hopefully help others. I have already a few posts about dating in China, and there’ll be more blog-posts coming up soon. In this post, I’m going to provide you a TanTan & WeChat Dating Review – the two widely popular Chinese online dating Apps.

If you are looking for some casual fun, then check out this post –MeiMei Dance Hall – Suzhou China Holidays, Bar, Club, Nightlife & Travel Attractions.

Keep in mind that this post is not necessarily about how to find a girlfriend, wife or a long-term relationship in China. My focus would be providing a genuine TanTan review so that no matter what you are looking for on TanTan (casual or serious), you can optimize your throughput, that is – number of successful happenings per unit of time. 🙂

Moreover, I’ll be writing my observations from a heterosexual male’s expertise – so the post is obviously going to be helpful to the guys out there. But the concepts could be utilized by the girls as well who wanna date online in China. Also, dating and relationships are more like an art than science –the opinions can be subjective. So, add a p-value of 0.05 to anything and everything being put forward. 🙂

• Rule Number 1 & Relationship Management

What Asian girls care a lot about foreigner men?

If you are reading this post, chances are high that you wish to learn more about the Asian girls. That’s normal！

Before you read TanTan review, let me ask you a simple but very important Question- What Asian girls care a hell lot about a foreigner man in terms of dating and relationship? Can you list a few items?

My experience says – your nationality (passport)! Don’t be surprised if the very first question you are asked is – which country you are from? I’m of the mind that your nationality still holds a very-very important key. Any other criteria?

• Dating Chinese Women – When and How to Move On

Let me list down a few “attributes” that’s going to be appreciated by the Asian girls. You can of course disagree with me (feel free to explain in the comments) – but if you ask my opinion, then here it is-

1. Your nationality/passport,
2. Race – Asian girls care about your race as well,
3. How long you’ll be in China,
4. Your job – that translates to Money – and that translates into security.

I had a few (only a few, but still) girls directly telling me that to them dating a foreigner meant dating a white guy from a western country. That indicates, if you are a white guy from USA/UK/France/Germany/Spain…. You are likely going to have a great time in China/East-Asia/South-East-Asia.

Being from a third world country could potentially screw up your chances of dating in China and other Asian countries. Again, you can be a great guy holding a poor country’s passport and find an Asian wife (a typical beta) – that’s of course possible. I have seen this pattern quite often.

Bragging is a part of lifestyle in China. The girls wanna go back and brag to her friends and parents – hey, look I have a (boy)friend from USA, he is very Tall, Rich and Handsome (高富帅 – Gāofù shuài).

Another popular term worth mentioning is Short, Ugly & Poor (矮丑穷, Ǎi chǒu qióng).

Also, the taller girls in China somehow seem to be having more pride/ego than those at 5’3” or less.

Btw, somehow being a software engineer in China is considered to be highly prestigious. So, if you have a major in computer science or working for Huawei, that’s going to be a plus point. Feel free to brag about it.

Who can use TanTan (Chinese tinder)?

Well, TanTan is used by the Chinese people across the mainland China and overseas. It’s a great app for meeting like-minded Chinese singles. As such, there is no restriction for foreigners to use the App – virtually anyone can use TanTan.

How to set up a TanTan account?

You’ll just need a smartphone and a phone number. After downloading the App from Google Play Store, enter the phone number, you’ll instantaneously get a 4-digit SMS password on your phone.

The phone number to setup a TanTan account need not be Chinese. In fact, when I was in Singapore, I used to have a TanTan account associated with my Singapore number. After I moved to China, I bought a new phone and phone number – and got a new TanTan account as well. 🙂

Make sure to indicate your sex (male/female) correctly while setting up your Chinese tinder account as you can’t change your sex once the account registration process is over.

Do add a couple of “Tall, Rich and Handsome” type pics. Write 老外 (foreigner – Lǎowài) on top of your profile. Add your country name if you think it’s going to add value to your profile. 🙂

TanTan premium account

Without a TanTan premium account, you get nearly 120 swipes each day. If you want unlimited swipes, you can buy a premium account. There are three types of plans for a TanTan premium account-

Payment for a premium account is accepted by either WeChat or Alipay. Those with premium account get a VIP badger attached to their account. The badge is visible to other TanTan users.

When to use TanTan

You can use TanTan 24hrs anywhere in China – or abroad. But the beauty of TanTan is more visible when you are travelling in China. It could really be a fast and efficient way of meeting suitable (and hopefully single) ladies.

Tantan Fake accounts?

Make no mistake, there are tons of fake accounts on TanTan – and you’d need to be careful with them. Here are some of the observations about the fake/real account-

1. To me it seems that at least 50% TanTan accounts are fake (a TanTan premium account could be fake as well),
2. 10% accounts belong to girls/women who are married/dating/not-single and hereby not interested in dating and won’t agree for a meet-up,
3. 4-5% women are divorced who are likely single but looking for a “true-love” and long-term relationship. They don’t want to make quick decisions about meet-ups (probably to avoid previous relationship mistakes 🙂 ). You may have to do a lot of chatting (text game) before the first meetup.
4. 5% women may not be interested in meeting a foreigner- may be due to the language barriers or the guy might be from a not-well off country,
5. Quite a few girls don’t want to meet a stranger – and this is a lame excuse. I mean, if you are using online dating tools, obviously you gonna come across the strangers,
6. The single girls over 25 are generally looking for a long-term relationship. They may prefer a guy who has already lived in China for a longer period of time (e.g. 2 years).

How to identify tantan fake accounts

Here are some clues-

1. They’ll put WeChat QR code in the album,
2. WeChat ID in the profile,
3. Hidden face in the photos,
4. Only one photo,
5. No profile description,
6. Won’t accept video call,
7. Asking for money almost immediately after TanTan profile match,
8. They ask you to pay taxi bills (transfer by a Red Packet/Envelop) to get to the meet-up venue- a common TanTan scam,
9. Some fake account “girls” have good English – maybe some of these accounts belong to foreigners living in China.

Well, look at the following photos that I captured from a fake TanTan account – don’t you think they look a bit different?

Here are the messages sent by this girl from a WeChat fake account (she initiated texting me on WeChat and declined my video call request)-

Don’t be a robot

How does the TanTan matching algorithm work? Quite similar to Tinder’s algorithm. Well, don’t go on swiping each and every profile to the right. If you do so, the App may treat your account as a robot. And your profile may not be shown to other on a regular basis. It’s better to press on the profiles, check out the photos, and then swipe right (spending 2-3 seconds on each profile before a right swipe is recommended). You should also swipe a few profiles to the left (e.g. the fake ones).

Basically, TanTan wants genuine profiles to match and communicate – not the robots.

After a profile match on Tantan

Don’t shoot the text messages immediately after a match. Wait for 30min to 1 hour. Chances are high that she will initiate messaging -especially if you are a foreigner. If you don’t hear anything for one hour or so, feel free to initiate texting and have patience if the replies are slow.

In any case, don’t come across with a needy or desperate vibe – Chinese girls would sense that really-really fast. Talking about sex before actually having it is a sure-fire attraction killer.

A first text message with some Chinese character could help a lot. For example, in the first text you can add 你好 (Hello -Nǐ hǎo). Don’t try to have too much of game in China- a simple texting would do the needful. Here is an example of the first TanTan message- “你好 I am an American man who just came to China. Can we become friends or a language exchange”?

Most likely, she’d reply in Chinese. Expect to hear something like: 不懂英语 (Bù dǒng yīngyǔ, I don’t understand English).

That’s exactly where comes WeChat dating and messing App.

Add in WeChat

WeChat has a very effective built in translation function. In the second text message on TanTan, you’d better suggest adding in WeChat. The text could be something like this-

微信有翻译. 我的微信号码XXX，你的微信号码是什么？ (Wēixìn yǒu fānyì. Wǒ de wéi xìn hàomǎ XXX, nǐ de wéi xìn hàomǎ shì shénme – WeChat has a translation. My WeChat number is XXX, what is your WeChat number?). Don’t forget to replace the XXX with your WeChat ID.

If you feel that a TanTan account is fake, you can suggest a video call. In fact, WeChat fake profiles are also not very uncommon. A video call could potentially help eliminate the fake accounts.

Questions that Chinese women will ask you

Do you have any idea what kind of questions Chinese girls usually ask? I don’t mean to generalize, but I’ll give you a list of questions that I have faced more often than others:

1. Where are you from?
2. How long you have been in China?
3. How old are you?
4. What you do for a living?
5. Do you have a house?
6. Can I bring my friends on date？
7. Salary?
8. Your real name – some girls will insist on it and may use the internet search to find more about you.

Keep in mind that not providing answers to these questions could potentially spoil your dating chances. But again, you don’t need to tell them everything correctly. I don’t mean you should lie, but if you don’t wanna share your age or salary information with a TanTan stranger – I’d understand. In any case, it’s better to at least provide convincing answers.

Frankly, sometimes I get freaked out by the weird interview questions.

Chinese girls will often ask you a lot of personal questions, but if you ask them – “hey do you have a boyfriend or you are single?” – some girls would never answer you and some even delete you from the WeChat account.

Gold digging in China by Gold diggers

When I lived in Singapore (2012-17), I’d often hear girls asking- Are you Singaporean? Permanent Resident (PR)? Employment pass? Which kind of visa you have?

I was expecting a better situation in China – only to feel surprised.

Here I have seen women asking very directly- Do you have a house? Did you rent? Did your employer provide housing? They’d provide you all possible answers. The housing questions often come from the women in late 20s or the ones who are divorced.

Some girls when they came to my home, started asking the rental amount. When I tell them rent, they’d go on analyzing – this is too expensive. Why don’t you find cheaper accommodations?

God forbid, when it comes to dating and relationship, the gold-digging in China is rather omnipresent. Women consistently try to assess your monetary value – sometime directly, sometime indirectly.

I love China and the people over here. The Chinese people are usually peace-loving, helping and kind. But when it comes to dating and relationship, often times I feel that the dating situation is China virtually sucks!

Setting up date

Well, in China your dating success heavily depends on two more factors (apart from nationality, race, etc.):

• How much time you have (a few days if travelling or long term if working)
• What exactly do you want (one-night thingy to a long-term relationship)

If you are travelling for a limited period of time, make sure to suggest a date ASAP nearby your accommodation. A dinner date at your hotel/hostel cafeteria is probably your best bet.

During the text message exchange, you should indicate that after dinner you’ll be heading to your place to further get together.

Btw, before suggesting a date, you should clarify if she is single. Generally, the girls who already have a boyfriend/husband are not looking for anything beyond friendship – and that’s perfectly fine. Move on!

Understand Chinese culture

The dating culture in China is quite different and a girl’s behavior might be slightly naïve from a western culture perspective.

For example, in China when a girl comes to your home, she is not necessarily coming to romance or sex. I mean it – sex may not be anywhere in her mind. So maybe she’ll be highly surprised if you try to escalate at your home – and maybe she’d leave your place soon after.

I think it’s better to clearly let her know before the meet up that what exactly you want – romance or friendship. 🙂

The dilemma is- if you don’t tell them, they won’t understand. If you tell them that you want lays, then you are risking being needy and may get deleted/blocked fast on WeChat. Obviously, you’ll need to ensure to maintain a good communication balance. For example, you could playfully ask – hey, what’s your opinion about romance with a foreigner? Or – have you ever dated a foreigner? Those who earlier had relationship with foreigners are likely to be more open.

It’s better to not have a meet-up than to meet and be disappointed later.

But if you are not concerned about the lays, there’s nothing to worry.

It’s a date

When you invite a Chinese girl, make sure to tell her it’s a “date”. I freaking mean it. In China, it’s quite common for girls to come to a guy’s bedroom just because she wants to make a foreigner friend. Sometime they visit you to practice English.

So, no hangout, no catch up, no meet up –it’s a date. Tell her clearly and move on if she is not okay about dating.

I know there are many girls who don’t get it despite you clearly inviting for a “date”. In fact, some of them may want to bring their friends along on a date. Even if you invite them home, they wanna bring friends to your home. Wtf! These are the clear signs that you should be moving on! If a girl can’t stand talking “only two of you” at a public cafeteria, forget about her coming to your home for romance! It’s not gonna happen anytime soon. Press the next button!

In fact, I am writing a detailed post about moving on in a Chinese dating context. Wait a few days!

Seal the deal

I suppose that you have already indicated that it’s a date and she know that you two gonna spend time at home. So when you meet for a dinner date or drinks, you can spend around 1hr chatting, and then invite her for watching movies or something together at your place. Chances are still high that first time she won’t come- take it easy. If you are travelling and have limited time, suggest another meet up may be the very next day or so.

It’s better to have the next meet-up at your place. No need to go to a fancy bar or restaurant – otherwise you might waste more time.

Those who want to take things further to a next logical level, won’t give you a tough time. Those giving you a tough time are probably not worth your time.

My whole point is – You should be looking for a healthy and legitimate sex or relationship – not just in China but in any country. Anything that’s not healthy or violates the law should be avoided at any cost!

Be a goal-oriented person – once you know what you want, you’ll find it fast!

That’s all in TanTan & WeChat dating review.

Have you dated an Asian girl before? Wanna share? If you have something to share, do let me know in the comments or post in our forum . I’ll be happy to learn more about this whole drama.

Also, if you have any question about online dating and relationships in China, feel free to post in our forum so that others could also contribute and learn. For regular updates like us on Facebook, or follow on Twitter!

If you find the write-ups useful, don’t forget to buy me a beer!

Wish you a great time dating sexy Asian ladies!

Cheers!

Last updated: Friday, December 23, 2022